March 19, 2014

Happy, sad

The other day, as I was preparing dinner, SB came in to the kitchen. She looked completely forlorn. Her shoulders were down. Her head was down. I could not see her face, but she came and buried it in my belly.

I asked her what was wrong and she said, "I'm sad about BaBop. I was playing with my toys, and I was happy, and then all of a sudden I felt sad."

"I know, sweetie. It happens to me, too. That is exactly how grief works. One minute you are doing OK, and the next you are not. It's perfectly normal. You can't control how you feel, and you shouldn't try. Just let the feelings come."

"Can we cuddle for a little bit?"

"Of course we can."

I turned off the stovetop and we settled in to our favorite chair in the living room. Her body melted in to me, and her eyes began to water.

"I hope I die and go to Heaven soon so I can see BaBop."

"If that happened, it would make BaBop sad. Me, too."

"Why?"

"Because you are only five years old. There is so much for you to learn and see and do. If you went to Heaven now it would be too soon, and BaBop wants you have the opportunity to live a long, full life, just as he did."

"When will I die?"

"None of us know when we are going to die, sweetie."

"Only God does."

"Yes, it is in His hands. We can't worry too much about dying. We should try to enjoy each day we have here on Earth and be grateful for it."

"BaBop can see me from Heaven."

"I believe he can, yes."

"Can I have a picture of him in my room?"

"Of course you can. That's a wonderful idea. You can pick out which picture you want, and we can even make a special frame for it. Would you like that?"

"Yes."



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