May 9, 2011

The land of many creatures

          The other morning, I heard SB calling me over the monitor, and went to her room to get her. She was sitting up in her bed, pointing at the far wall with a strange look on her face. "Uh oh, Mommy," she said. "Uh oh!"
          I had not put my glasses on, so all I could see from across the room was something dark against the light wall. I had to walk across the room to get a closer look. And that's when the big a** spider started to move.
          I jumped back and called for my hubby, knowing the monitor in our bedroom was still on. "Honey," I said. (OK, I may have shrieked.) "We need you up here." You see, he and I have an arrangement. I kill the roaches. He kills the spiders.
          He came running upstairs thinking something terrible had happened. (I believe I mentioned I may have shrieked.) When he saw what SB and I were both pointing to, he said, "Oh, crap!" Which SB promptly repeated.
          Lest you think I am being overdramatic, hubby later described the spider in question as being at least as big as his palm. And he's not a small man.
          I refer to Florida as The Land of Many Creatures. We have bugs the size of rodents here. Rodents the size of dogs. Alligators and snakes and sharks. Oh, my!
          I once had something called a "nutria" run in front of my car. It's a rodent, basically a rat, bigger than a Jack Russell Terrier. (Which always makes me think of the ROUSes from The Princess Bride.)
          My hubby cannot stand the massive flying roaches we have. They are known here as Palmetto Bugs. And they are nasty. But I can handle them. I don't like to; but I can. So my job is to kill the roaches.
          And btw, having one in your house is in no way a measure of your cleanliness. Here in Florida, they are in everyone's homes.
          The one thing I cannot stand is spiders. And since our home backs up to some deep woods, we get big, nasty, hairy ones up in here. I'm shaking just writing this. They seriously creep me out.
          Hubby gets the better end of this deal, I think. The spiders are just easier to kill. He gets out the vacuum and uses the attachment to reach out and suck them up. They try to get away, but rarely do.
          The roaches? Those suckers can MOVE! And they usually come right at you as you are trying to aim the spray, or rolled up newspaper, or whatever you are using to try to get them. They take to the air and fly at your face. Also? They are practically impossible to kill.
          So, how many times did you jump reading this post?
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