September 8, 2010

One love

          I was intrigued recently - and a little relieved - when psychologist and child expert Dr. Michelle Borba, whom I follow on Twitter, shared some interesting new information about raising only children. Having become a mom at the age of 40, my husband and I knew we would only have one child. We feel we are blessed that everything turned out well with our daughter, and it would be best to leave well enough alone. There are numerous risks involved with having children later in life.
          If I were younger, I would consider having another child. But I have come to accept things the way they are. However, I've heard so many negative stereotypes about only children through the years. And I will admit, they have caused me concern about my daughter. But it turns out those generalizations, while ingrained in our society's mindset, are based on outdated research that was poorly conducted in the first place. And modern day experts have basically debunked it.
          Even better, recent research points to some interesting and exciting benefits for only children. A key factor for success is that the child's parents provide ample social opportunities. Which is something my husband and I work hard to do. There's enough to worry about when raising a child. I'm glad the fact that she is an only child no longer has to be one of them.


  1. You are such a good Mommy. Her being an only child will be nothing to worry over. Not to mention, you are so lucky to be able to focus all ofyour attention on one child. You can savor and relish every single moment of her life. The hardest part ,for me, when we had a second was worry about number 1 feeling less love. It is something that I struggle with daily. I love them both more than life itself but it is hard to be equal in your attenions because I am only 1 person. Love your adorable little girl and enjoy every moment you have together.

  2. There was actually a great article in Time a few weeks (month or so?) back and I thought it was maybe a sign that the Boy was to be an only child. And then I found out I was pregnant and there went that sign.

    This will be our last child, I turn 36 next month. If I wasn't with child now...I gave October as my cut-off date. :)

  3. Yeah, I agree...those "expert opinions" are outdated. It's how you love and teach your child that matters. What a lucky and quite adorable little girl you have!

  4. Great picture! She's a lucky girl to have you and your DH as her parents. My DH and I both come from 2-children families, so I always thought I would have at least two, but with the difficulties I've had this past year, I'm still torn on whether or not DD will be an only. Time will tell :)

  5. I'm an only and I have always considered myself lucky to be so! I play by myself very well - a valuable skill.

  6. I am also an only child and I'm fine, no really I am....

  7. As a mom who is forty five with a two year old, I love that their are positives being discussed.

  8. @ Truthful Mommy - Aww, thank you! You are always so supportive.

    @ Mommy This and That - I had a cut off date, too. Made it just in time. ;) Congrats on your second little one on the way!

    @ Melissa - And I think that is the point of the article. Thanks on the compliments on DD. We think she's pretty special, too.

    @ Kelley - Everyone always comments on those eyes. And we have no idea where they came from! LOL

    @ Michelle - Thank you!

    @ Jeffe - It would seem to me that you turned out very well indeed! ;)

    @ blueeyedadri - I'm sure you are! LOL

    @ JDaniel4'sMom - So we are pretty close in our situations. I, too was thrilled to see the positive aspects of it. Glad you found the information helpful!

  9. @ Mungee's Ma - Oops! Missed you! ;) You are young and have plenty of time to decide whether or not Mungee will have a sibling (and it is hard to have that perspective when you have difficult times). But if you decide the answer is no, you can know that she will be OK.

  10. My mom was an only child--and she's awesome! She gets SO torqued whenever anyone says things like, "Only children are so picky" and other only child stereotypes. She is 100% social, well adjusted, and great!


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