September 24, 2010

Mompetitors

          I came across this via Jill at Baby Rabies. I shared it through Facebook and Twitter and then watched many of my friends do the same. We all got a good laugh out of it.
          But here's the thing. This actual happens. I have not experienced it personally, but I see dialog like this take place all the time online. Women questioning the decisions of other moms. Claiming their decisions are the best or only right ones. And that is not funny.
          Work or stay at home? Cloth diapers or disposable? Breast milk or formula? Time out or redirection? These days, it seems there are countless issues moms disagree about. But rather than simply agreeing to disagree, with respect, women attack each other with alarming frequency.
          There is no one "right" way to be a good mom. What works for one does not work for all. Why that is so hard for some people to understand simply eludes me. And makes me crazy.



          What about you moms? Have you experienced this kind of interaction? In what context? How do you handle it?

19 comments:

  1. LOL! (But in a somewhat rueful way.) Yes, I have met those moms. I learned to just let it roll off. I never claimed to have the inside track on motherhood--when my kids were little, I just tried my best, and did what worked for our family.

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  2. OMG this was way too funny. Thankfully I don't know any of these people.

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  3. *groans* God, yes! Way too many times than I can even count.

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  4. Sadly I have, but not often. It's about the kids people!

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  5. That video just made my morning. Thank you for the laugh. And I wish everyone would just agree: parenting is not a mompetition!

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  6. ROFL. And these moms DO exist!!

    Don't even think of showing this anywhere near The Nest forums or they'll rip you a new one. Spoken from experience.

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  7. I am SO happy that my children are not actually an extension of my own self nor a representation of my self-worth. If so, my competitive nature might become a hinderance to me as well. On the other hand, my kids DO know that my way is the ONLY way. Lol.

    Thanks for the giggle!

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  8. Yes!!!

    I have encountered this especially as a relatively young mother of a teenager and pre-schooler.

    This is not a competition. Our kids are different, we are different and at the risk of sounding cheesy--parenthood is hard enough without mami friends insisting they know best for everyone.

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  9. YES! I've run into groups of them!! "Those Moms" are waaaaay worse in person...robot Stepford Wifes on crack!! -c3south*

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  10. I've been a victim of this stuff many times. I vow to stay out of the mommy wars entirely. Moms need to support other moms, plain and simple.

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  11. I am sorry to learn that so many women have experienced this in real life. I guess I am lucky, and an exception. So far, I have not.

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  12. It's a funny video for sure. I don't think disagreeing with one another is a bad thing. Perhaps it's the way we say things. But when in doubt, Shut Up.

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  13. @ Stacey - Well life would be pretty boring if we always agreed. ;) But I think it is vital that we respect each other, and that often seems to be lacking, at least when it comes to the "Mommy Wars."

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  14. With so much to worry about in life, it will forever be a mystery to me why some moms spend even a tiny bit of energy worrying about another mom's decisions on things like formula and homeschooling.

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  15. Oh, how this video made me laugh!

    I've probably experienced this kind of thing more online and in books than in real life, but I've definitely run into this type on the playground, etc. In my experience, it's been the horrified expressions that I didn't breastfeed longer (told one girl I was supplementing the twins and she said, "And your doctor is OK with that?!?" I was like, "Um, yes, especially since he ordered it beginning in the hospital!"), why I don't give my kids organic milk, chicken breasts, etc., why they're in outfits from Target when their friends are running around in fancy schmancy smocked duds.

    Oh, and definitely I've run into some interesting points of view on disciplinary stuff. So basically, I just don't talk about it much any more, unless I know that the mom with whom I'm speaking has a similar disciplinary philosophy to mine.

    Stopping by from RDC. Thanks for sharing this. I hope that many people will read/watch and that it will resonate with some of them!

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  16. I loved this! Certainly we all know both of these women.

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  17. That.was.hilarious. I watched it while Mungee is crying in her crib because she doesn't want to take a nap. GASP!

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  18. @ Karen - Amen!

    @ Angie - Sorry to hear you have had those experiences. At least you can still laugh @ the video!

    @ Grimmgirl - Personally, I don't know the blonde. But I see her online all the time.

    @ Mungee's Ma - Has she given up her morning nap yet?

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  19. You and I have had this discussion, but i had to chime in - I have been in *many* situations where this is the type of conversation that takes place. And it never ceases to amaze me that moms will cut each other down. Now that my kids are no longer babies - they are 3 and 5 - i see that many of these discussions happen with moms with smaller kids. They are still feeling their way through this motherhood thing and they get extremely defensive about decisions that they have made for themselves. Just the other day, i was sitting in the midst of a group of moms while our kids were in art class and i was trying to write and the moms started an animated conversation about sleep and eating and then they got on to schools ... my head nearly exploded. I have learned that conversations like that never lead anywhere good and i politely bow out of them.

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