July 12, 2010

When Mommy doesn't have super powers

          I really hate when my child is sick. Sure, there are the selfish reasons; I don't get any sleep and I have to deal with a crabby child. But there are far bigger reasons I find it so difficult:
  • I CAN'T FIX IT. As a mom, we hate to see our kids unhappy. And when that happens, we want to be able to fix it. Usually, when they're sick, there is little or nothing we can do. There may or may not be medicine that can help with symptoms or shorten the duration. But most of the time, you just have to stick it out and try to make your child as comfortable as possible.
  • MY CHILD THINKS I CAN. My daughter is 18 months old and doesn't say much, but if she could, I just know she would say, "Mommy, make it go away!" That's what her pleading eyes say when she looks at me. And she really thinks I can. She doesn't understand that Mommy doesn't actually have super powers.          
          The younger the child, the harder it is I think. When they are really little, you don't have any way to communicate with them, other than to offer cuddles and love. Although I'll admit that is one nice thing about when my daughter is sick. She wants lots and lots of Mommy cuddles. And being a fiercely independent toddler these days, I don't get that very often. But it's not a good enough trade off to see her miserable.
          We want to have super powers, don't we? It would make motherhood so much easier. What powers would you have if you could?


  1. I think I'd choose the same super powers. My son is 18 months as well and he's had a bout with being sick this weekend and it is breaking my heart. I also suffer from PPD so it makes it worse. I go beyond regular Mommy guilt of not being able to make him feel better to feeling like a failure instead. I know it is my PPD talking, but it doesn't make it better. I guess my super power would be to actually be as great as my little ones think I can be.

  2. I'd just want to know what was making her cry. Is she frustrated? Is she in pain? Does she want me to pick her up? Does she want me to put her down? Things are so much easier when there's no screaming. Mommy doesn't freak out and get catatonic. I think I can relate to what Stacey said - sometimes it goes beyond the regular guilt into feeling like nothing I do is right/feeling like a failure in not being able to comfort my own child.

  3. @ Stacey - I think there are times we all feel like failures as moms. I can't speak to the PPD, b/c I have not experienced it, but I can tell you I feel that way sometimes, too. But boy, how awesome it would be if we could be as great as our kids think we can be. I believe we can aspire to that. And I firmly believe our "failings" are invisible to them.

    @ Mungee's Ma - Ah, yes, A way to interpret the crying would be, well, GOLD! I have found with time the screaming does not unnerve me as much. I hate it, but I can deal with it a little better. But it would be so wonderful if I didn't have to.

  4. I would love that super power as well. My youngest was sick earlier this week and, while I do love the snuggles and quiet time with him, I think I would rather be sick myself than to have them go through that. I really hate that feeling of helplessness when I can't fix it!

  5. @ Booyah's Momma - Every woman I know says she would rather be sick than watch her child(ren) go through it. And if we could figure out how to do it, we would!


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