June 14, 2010

It was the best of times...

          It was the worst of times. At the moment, we are experiencing a little bit of both in our home. Our daughter is close to 18 months old, and has been doing her best Dr. Jekyll and Miss Hyde impersonation lately. 
          One minute she is a sweet, adorable, happy child. The next, she has the ability to become, well, a monster! She can throw some serious tantrums. We have tried a number of different approaches to dealing with them, with varied results. 
          A great deal of the time, her meltdowns are caused by being tired or hungry. I can fix both those things. But sometimes I don't know the reason. The worst part for me is that the more she melts down, the more I feel like I am doing something wrong. Rationally, I know that is not true. This is simply the age and it is normal toddler behavior. But what does rationality have to do with motherhood anyway?
          Once a tantrum has passed, she's fine and comes to me for a hug. All is well and life goes on. It's like I am on one big, emotional roller coaster. Being forced to ride against my will. In the back seat, where it can be scary because you can't see what is coming.
          One thing I did not realize before I became a mom is that the notorious "Terrible Twos" often take place during a child's second year of life, between the age of one and two. From everything I have read, the behavior tends to peak at 18 months. My husband and I are hoping against all hope our daughter follows that pattern. 
          When trouble comes calling, I find myself missing the times when holding her, or putting her to the breast, solved pretty much all problems. I also long for her pre-mobile period, as those of you who follow this blog know.
          There are so many wonderful things about this stage of my daughter's development, however. She is so much fun, and learning at an amazing pace. Overall, she is a happy child. I could become drunk on her laugh. It is the greatest laugh I have ever heard. Yes, these really are the best of times!


  1. No advice except to say that this stage will pass only to be followed by another stage with its own dramas and challenges. At each one you will find a way to cope, love her in spite of it all, and continue being everything she needs to develop into a whole, capable, and "with it" adult.

  2. Yes, well put! Once you figure this one out, she will be on to the next stage. They keep us on our toes don't they?

  3. I'm sure every stage has its own unique challenges. And they certainly do keep us on our toes!

  4. Oh I know this well. In it now with my 15 month old. Two things I learned with my oldest: one, ignore when you can. But when they really get ripping, be available for cuddles. Solving the problem is often not the issue. It's actually more about how they feel in the moment. Losing control of their emotions is scary for them too. They need to learn how to reign it in. So I found that just sitting, cuddling, hugging and with my oldest coaching him to take deep breaths really helps.

    Good luck...and I promise you, this too shall pass!

  5. @ Christine - Yep, both approaches work, depending on the situation. Are you familiar w/Dr. Karp? He has a great approach for dealing with tantrums. It involves reflecting the child's feelings back to them @ a level they can understand. Doesn't always work w/DD, but I like it.

  6. Have you heard the song All Four Seasons by Sting (from Mercury Falling)? All about his daughter during these same times....

  7. I would love to say something to make you feel better about 18 months old...but I have to be honest. My daughter will be 18 years old next month, and just now is becoming a normal, sane person!!
    Best thing to do is to remember to take time for you. Because, trust me, you will need it!!
    Thanks for a great post!
    You've got a new follower!!


  8. @ Lesa - Oh geez, that's so encouraging! LOL Actually, I prefer honesty. Sugar coating doesn't help anyone. ;) I am trying very hard to carve out time for me, no matter how short. I didn't the first year, and felt it. That's good advice.

    And welcome! Glad to have you as a follower!


I value your input, and appreciate your taking the time to not only read, but also comment on this post! Thank you! Please come back often and keep the discussion going...

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Related Posts with Thumbnails