As someone who had all but given up on becoming a mother, I still feel like pinching myself every morning as I pick my sweet, smiling 16 month-old daughter out of her crib. It doesn't seem real; I am a mom!
I always wanted to be. But somewhere along the way, I gave up on the dream. It wasn't easy. It took a long time. But I accepted that children were not going to happen for me. I came to peace with it. Then, finally, I met my husband. He was perfect. We were perfect. And at 40 years old, the dream we had both given up on came true.
It was on Mother's Day two years ago that I found out I would be one. I was pretty sure I was pregnant, but had been disappointed before. So I waited until enough time had passed to take a test. I planned to take it that morning, but woke in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. So I went ahead. The line was pink immediately. I smiled and went back to bed. When we both awoke the next morning, my husband rolled over and said, "Good morning." To which I replied, "I think you should wish me a Happy Mother's Day. 'Cause I'm going to be one!"
So now I have this magnificent little girl who looks at me with pure love and adoration, and thinks all the silly things I do are funny. She loves to give me hugs. Sit in my lap and read books. She's a little piece of Heaven. Yes, she bites me when she can't get her way. And she screams a lot, in the high pitched, ear-piercing way only a girl can. Happy or sad. In the most inconvenient places. But overall she is a delightful child.
She looks just like me. Well, me with blonde hair and blue eyes. Watching her is like viewing home movies of myself. It's freaky. And she inherited my passion for water, books and apparently baseball (start 'em when they're young I always say). There's a lot of her Daddy in her, too. She is a very good mix of both of us. I am so fascinated to watch her grow up, but not too quickly.
Being a mom is one of the most ordinary things you can do. It is part of the human experience; it is not unique. But it is the most amazing thing that will ever happen in your life. It embodies the true meaning of the word "awesome." And the divine privilege of being my little girl's mom is all I need this Mother's Day. I love you, my little monkey!